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My First Blog Post

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. FYI, I have no idea what I am doing, I barely know how to use the computer so please bare with me. I promise I will get better as I go. Please, subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.

Shower Tears 

He sits in the tub
Letting the water run
In the shower overhead

He holds his body together
Swearing those hands will be
The only ones that ever touch him again

He cries and weeps
Knowing this is the only place
He will not be heard

Though only six years of age
Society has taught him his place
Boys are not meant to show their emotions

He did not know at the time
But now it is too late
He can not change what has happened

But he sits in the tub
Biting his tongue
Begging for anyone else’s positive attention

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Thankyou for reading! For updates on new posts follow my blog and/or my instagram. Sending love to everyone❣🌸

Lost Stars 

I have not written in three weeks
Instead I use my time crying and sleeping
The words are lost somewhere in me
I am lost somewhere else
The nightmares have stopped coming
But sometimes fear is better than nothing
I don’t know how to fix this
But I always do
Without anyone ever knowing
My skin of gold is just ash now
But no one ever notices
My star dust soul no longer contains stars
My words are just dust
And I am lost
Searching within the specs
Hoping to be saved before anyone ever knows

Liebster Award 

Thank you so much Sidharth for nominating me! You’ve always seen potential in me as a writer and blogger and I appreciate it bunches. Sidharth is an amazing writer, blogger, and friend. If you have not checked out his blog you definitely should, you will not be disappointed. The name of his blog is writingrhymes.

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Rules:

Thank the blogger who nominated you, and provide a link to their blog.

Share 11 facts about yourself.

Answer the 11 questions given to you.

Nominate 5-11 other bloggers.

Ask your nominees 11 questions.

Notify your nominees once you have uploaded your post.

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Facts:

1) I am an introvert but for some odd reason I like public speaking. When I have a particular topic and get to speak about it, I enjoy it so much. However, if you make me have a one on one “weather talk” conversation, I will completely shut down on you.

2) I love music and even though I normally listen to rock, here recently I’ve been obsessed with softer sounding bands. My current go-to’s are Powfu, Cigarettes after Sex, and Alec Benjamin.

3) I multi-task a lot.. And I mean A LOT! Most of the time my days are very busy and hectic so I have learned to do many things at once.

4) I don’t really like chocolate; however, there is this specific chocolate that the Dollar General has every year around Easter. This is the only chocolate I truly love. I always wait until Easter is over and buy as many as I can on sale.

5) STICKERS!!! I love stickers so so much and I put them everywhere! My mirror is currently covered in stickers of giraffes and snails. I don’t know why those, but it makes me happy.

6) I am a geek at heart. I love card games and most video games. My favorite card game is Magic the Gather and my favorite video game is Resident Evil 4.

7) I collect Native American dolls. Every year my mother would get my sister the Holiday Barbie Doll for Christmas. When I was born she started getting me Native American porcelain dolls. I think they are beautiful and they fit my personality well. (I also collect dream catchers— I have over 2 dozen).

8) I have very sensitive senses. I notice a lot of things others do not simply because of my heightened awareness.

9) I am an overthinker. I get lost in my thoughts all the time and worry a lot.

10) One of my dreams is to have my wall painted in chalkboard paint. I really want to be able to write my poems on walls!

11) I am extremely ticklish. My friends and family like to abuse this because when I laugh I sound like a dying chipmunk.

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Q/A:

1) What’s the one word that describes you the best?

Driven

2) Who are some of your most favorite writers?

Torey Hayden, Judy Westwater, Ernest Hemingway, Ellen Hopkins, James Dashner, just to name a few…

3) Tell me about one of the most memorable moments of your life.

— Oh, I have a really good memory so this is a hard one. Hmmm… I would probably say the time I wrote and read my first poem to a group. I was extremely nervous even though I had it memorized. That was the first poem I had ever written and I did it for extra credit in my 7th grade English class. I honestly don’t think I would be the poet I am today if it wasn’t for that one experience. The title of the poem was “My life is like a cat’s” I still have it memorized.

4) What’s your outlook/ motto in life?

“Do not let the fear take control.”

5) A thing that you aim to convey through your blog?

— Through my blogging I want to spread love and awareness to people. I just want people to remember that everyone has a voice and we are able to communicate what we need to say in a multitude of ways.

6) What makes you truly happy in life?

I am happiest when I am with children. I love love love being around kids. I admire their free will, silliness, and confidence in what they do.

7) What all are you doing in this lockdown phase to keep up the positive vibes?

I have been writing a lot, painting, riding four-wheelers, and trying my best to keep my family happy. I also have been messaging friends, both new and old.

8) Name one of your all-time favorite movies & why do you enjoy it so much?

My favorite movie is Inside Out. It is the only movie that has made me cry. Not just a few weak tears but a full blown, face soaking wet cry. This movie speaks to me in so many ways because I relate to it so well.

9) One aspect of your life that you intend to improve upon?

— You can’t expect me to just choose one! I intend to improve everything about my life! I feel that we must keep moving forward and aim for better, as long as we do that we are succeeding. However, I feel if I improve my happiness, everything else will fall into place.

10) If you could have a superpower then what would it be & why?

— I know this isn’t a very popular one, but I would love to have the power of apparition. For those that don’t know what that is…it’s when someone is able to bring spirts into the physical world. I find spirits to be so freaking awesome and I’d love to be able to communicate more freely with them.

11) What do you like the most about my blog/writings & any suggestions for me to improve as a blogger?

I love how dedicated you are to it. Your poems are so good but the part that brings it all together is how you talk/interact with so many bloggers. It seems to be a second family to you.

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My Nominees:

– Broken but Mended

– Brad Osborne @ commonsensiblyspeaking

– J.R. Kovacs @ Daily Poets

-A. Violet @ Daily Poets

– David @ Graffiti of Erosion

– The Poetry of Ants

– Sameera @ The Poetic Elixir 

– Geino Aotsch @ poetique

– Adam @ Forgotten Memories

– Katy @ katydotpoetry

– Hernan Monzon

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My Questions:

1) What is something on your bucket list that you have yet to do?

2) If you joined the circus, what would you perform?

3) What is your favorite book and/or author?

4) What’s the last show you binge-watched?

5) Favorite quote/saying?

6) If you had only one sense (taste, touch, etc….) what would you want it to be? Why?

7) You found a genie lamp…what’s your three wishes?

8) What would be the title of your memoir?

9) What is the weirdest dream you have ever had?

10) Would you rather spend a week with pirates or ninjas?

11) What question do you hate answering?

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Thanks again for the nomination Sidharth! You are an amazing writer and blogger. I look up to you so much. Keep vibing!

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Thankyou for reading! For updates on new posts follow my blog and/or my instagram. Sending love to everyone❣🌸

Dear Dreamer Boy: A Collection of Letters

Dear dreamer boy,
You said you haven’t slept in four days
Now it’s been four days without a response
So I guess you fell asleep and haven’t woken up yet
The moon quit talking to me too
But that’s okay even though the nights seem a lot longer
They are slightly less lonely
Sending Love,
Your darling angel

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Dear dreamer boy,
You were the first of all of them
We took naps in my bed
And even though I don’t remember your name
I think about you a lot
When I would wake up and
You’d kiss my forehead
You’d make the bed and i’d make cereal
You always loved coco puffs
Always remembered,
The girl that you used to love

………

Dear dreamer boy,
You were my best friend all through primary school
You left the state and then came back
And nothing had changed
You held my hand and we’d eat ice cream in the hallways
Now I see you four lockers down
And we haven’t talked in 5 years
Different groups, different lives
I wish you never left, you never said goodbye
A special place in my heart,
Your little werewolf

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Dear dreamer boy,
Thank you for saving me
When no one else would listen
You always stayed by my side
And we are still close
I honestly would be lost without you
Because even though I love the others
You are the one that showed me
To live and not just survive
Forever grateful,
The girl that you accidentally became friends with

……..

Dear dreamer boy,
The only one that proved to me
That everything will actually be okay
You taught me the most
And I love you endlessly
And sadly that is what broke my heart
A hole in my life,
Your McChicken

……..

Dear dreamer boy,
I don’t know why I felt the need to write this one
Because you are the one that broke me
But i have excepted sometimes
Men are just boys with lusty intentions
Fuck you,
The girl that got up when you pushed her down

……..

Dear dreamer boy,
I have yet to know your name
And I guess that is okay
Because sometimes my cluelessness
Is all you need to love
A future hello,
The girl that is learning to love again

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…..

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Thankyou for reading! For updates on new posts follow my blog and/or my instagram. Sending love to everyone❣🌸

We decide the meaning 

Destiny lives within my memory
It is difficult for me to forget
So true forgiveness must be given
In order to be happy with this skin
I wish i could wash you from my clothes
My hands and hair are stained
But not in blood and tears
Like you would think
This is different
Destiny evolves within my thoughts
Destiny is the basis of everything i do
Not because it is already decided
But because i choose to choose

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Thankyou for reading! For updates on new posts follow my blog and/or my instagram. Sending love to everyone❣🌸

Interview for English…

Hello everyone! I hope your day is going well. In my English class, we just recently finished reading Tuesdays with Morrie (such a good book). For our finishing assignment, we have to do an interview with someone over the age of 60. I am really excited about this but don’t know who to interview since I can’t go out due to quarantine. If anyone that reads this is 60 or older and would like to help me and have a deep conversation about life please contact me…i would be extremely grateful. My email is mcvicar.kaylen@gmail.com or just leave a comment and we can talk some other way. Thank you so much! ❣🌸

Hell in an Hourglass

They say praise God because
He’s the only one that can take
away our sins. But what’s the
point if we don’t change our actions?
I can beg and pray but I can’t
take it away, nobody can. But this
is a promise to be better everyday
that I breathe. I just want you to
be proud of me and time is ticking.

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Thankyou for reading! For updates on new posts follow my blog and/or my instagram. Sending love to everyone❣🌸

Why did you lie/I would’ve understood

If I said tomorrow, you’d ask for today
But I never did understand partial wholes
So that’s already a given and
The sun sets and gives new heatwaves
To other days
And I don’t know why
There’s not enough for everyone
Why are our days not the same
Why can I not smile with you in my presence
Why is it so damn hard to get out of bed
I never could work without giving it my all
So If i dont think i can finish
I simply won’t start
So if today will not work for you
I will lay in bed and cry
But when tomorrow comes
I will force myself to crawl out
And paint false dignity on my face
Knowing once again, you will not show up

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Thankyou for reading! For updates on new posts follow my blog and/or my instagram. Sending love to everyone❣🌸

NaPoWriMo at it’s end

I don’t normally do this because it’s super personal to me. BUT to celebrate the close of NaPoWriMo I thought I would share my journal. I make my own journals using composition books that I buy on sale. This is my new one..I just finished it last night..

The quote for this journal is from Edgar Allan Poe and I painted both the front and back using washi-tape for the binding

In addition to decorating the cover, I also washi tape two pages together because I like to add pictures and objects with my poems.. Plus I use a lot of mediums and sometimes they bleed through.

Can’t wait to use my new journal! I hope everyone had an amazing and fun time with NaPoWriMo. I enjoyed it so much and will definitely be doing it again next year! Love you all😘

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Thankyou for reading! For updates on new posts follow my blog and/or my instagram. Sending love to everyone❣🌸

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