Princess… please, I’m a Queen

A queen will always turn pain into power
And lucky for me I have the crown to prove it
I own my shit
I am every word that I have ever written
I’ve wrote that shit
And I am proud that these poems are mine
You turn the page so I burn the book
You don’t have the right to say it’s not good
You do not know my mind
A promise is one word with a thousand heartbreaks
But I still promise to wake up in the morning
And write a beautiful poem again, for you
I write to you every day
An apology is not enough if my actions do not stand beside it
A queen does not leave those that stand beside her
I keep fighting
To prove my worth
But I just keep learning that I must be strong on my own
Because everyone leaves eventually
a queen stands high and isn’t afraid when her followers rebel
I am also a rebel
And you think being a queen is what I care about
no darling, I worry about what you’ll do when I fall
I must be strong
Because we all forget of what lurks in the dark
And I’m equally afraid of seeing and not knowing
I’m equally concerned of you’re inner anger and unwillingness to let it show
I might be a queen but I’m not ignorant
My pain is my motivation
But judge me when you are perfect
I’m as perfect as I’ll ever get
Love me or hate me
Just feel something
Love me or hate me
Cuz you could never overthrow me
I am a queen
I am powerful and obsolete
I am who I have to be
I’m sorry if you don’t like it
But to be honest
I never asked for your fucking opinion

An overdue apology

I hold on to her wings

Afraid of letting go

I am too heavy for her

But I can’t fly on my own

She doesn’t realize her potential

Because she’s never been off the ground

I’m sorry for stealing your opportunity

When everyone else was ready to leave

She didn’t know she should leave

She never believed she could fly 

It’s all my fault 

I pulled too tight

I am ready to let go

I hope there’s enough time

For her to catch up

With the others 

And I can be stranded on my own

A letter to my conscience

Baby girl, I know it burns when you breathe
You were told to never take someone else’s things
This air is not yours
But it will be
Baby girl, I know it’s not enough to dream
But I promise one day you will walk
And then they will fall at your feet
And all you will feel is victory
Baby girl, I know you fall asleep crying
You’re afraid of what happens when you do finally drift off
But he can not hurt you
He doesn’t even know you
Baby girl, I know of your memories and distant experiences
I know of the pain you carry in your heart
And I know of the love you choose to let grow
Baby girl, I know it’s hard to let go
I know it takes effort every day just to crawl out of bed
I know the fear that stands in your body
I know those glass eyes are not empty
You don’t want to be seen
You don’t want to feel
Baby girl, I know
Baby girl, you’ve gotta know I love you
I know where you’ve been and i’ll continue to love you
Because nobody else knows you like I know you
Baby girl, you are my best friend
The only one that has stayed beside me to the very end
And I will never leave
They will make fake promises and lie
But baby girl, I will never leave you
I could never leave you
Baby girl, I know you are afraid
I am too
But even through this I promise to still love you

Baby girl, I will always love you

Baptize me and say I’m beautiful

My whole body shivers from lack of oxygen

My spine jolts from the cold

The air only has what I need on warm days

Sunny days that cause melted popsicles

And tan lines

My taste buds freeze over

And beg to be thawed my springs warm touch

I hate to be touched

But when snow falls it gets caught

Somewhere between my throat and lungs

And I need to be baptized once me

Hold my hand as you pretend you are drowning me

Hold me up as I shake uncontrollably

My body quivers from his touch

I smile cuz you showed me love

Where love grows 

If home is where the heart is 

And my heart is in my chest

Does that make me my own personal slave?

To love yourself is brave

It takes effort

And every time I look in the mirror I say

“Youre a bad bitch and you’ve got this”

Most days I don’t mean it

I force myself to believe it 

If home is where the heart is 

And you’re standing right beside me

Can I please pay rent?

Loving myself becomes easier when I know you love me too

Effortless and calm

Give me a moment to comprehend you just called me beautiful

I don’t feel beautiful

If home is where the heart is

And my love lies within your chest 

Can I please just have a key

So I can walk in whenever I need to?

I love you

If home is where the heart is

You can have mine for free

I always promised 

I’d come back home eventually

I’m back 

I’m so sorry guys. I’ve been super busy and a lots been going on. But I’m back and ready for the new year. Yah!:D I’m gonna try to keep up with my poetry better. I love all of y’all. Hope you guys have been doing well. Thanks for the support. Let’s get started….
Each poem seems to drag the bad out 
Like rope that’s not strong enough to kill
It unravels when I try to hang it away
I will succeed this time
Every line will get my further and further 
And each tear will help me grow
I know what I can do 
You pretend I can’t do it
You don’t want me to do it
A writer doesn’t quit
We tell our stories
And you can’t keep me quiet this time
I know my worth and you know nothing
Except the name of a girl you used to know

Princesses Love Lies

Cinderella, Cinderella send your love unto me
For when the clock strikes midnight
I wish to be free
Rapunzel, Rapunzel send your hair down to me
For when I climb the tower
All your silent secrets will be known
Ariel, Ariel give your collection to me
For your most desired
I have already stole
Snow White, Snow White eat this Apple for me
For you have bled my poison
And now you belong to only me
Elsa, Elsa freeze this burning heart of mine
For I have already died
And loved in hell for quite some time
Aurora, Aurora cursed only for me
You will die from my kiss
And wish to be free
Pocahontas, Pocahontas send me all your gold
Your tribe is already gone
And now you’re all alone
Belle, oh belle forever trapped in my tower
Never leaving
Until I lose all the pedals of my flower

Changing Viewpoints 

I choke on the words I refuse to swallow
And it burns as they slowly fall down my throat
Each conversation is continuous torture
As the consonants fall out of my mouth
And the vowels stick to my teeth
I can’t believe the lies people eat
Feeling sick to my stomach
I leave from pity
As I vomit this shit
The stanzas flow together
And I can’t tell the difference between a poem and a story
Each line has a difference meaning
The feelings, the metaphors are all scrambled together
Maybe i should stop nurturing their words
And maybe they’ll start thinking before they speak

Shakespeare’s Truth

Shakespeare once said
“Under love’s heavy burden do I sink”
And everyone took it poetically
But he meant it more literally
Cuz to love and be loved is brave
And your heart becomes dense
Causing your breath to become shallow
My lungs are pushed down
With thoughts of you
I cannot swim
I do not drown
But I do fall deeper
Knowing you are the cause
To why I can no longer breathe
Haunts me
I love you more
Than the thought of love itself
And nobody truly understands that
Cuz when your heart is full
Your lungs slowly deflate
And love can no longer be inhaled
“Under love’s heavy burden do I sink”
I cannot fly without air
And without your wings I could not get off the ground in the first place
Under this heavy burden called love, I sink
Cuz the memories leave me grounded
Love, a heavy burden, sinks me
Cuz it hurts to breathe with or without your presence
A heavy burden is placed on my heart
I sink but was never placed in water
Do I sink under love’s heavy burden?
The answer is yes

New Stories and Old Rhythms

Newspapers beat upon the windowsill
As I think of the right things to say
The wind sucks the air right out of me
And it dies with my candlelight flame
The words I write are the words I read
I no longer know if they are mine or not
My blinds are shut and my pencil is eraserless
I feel like each line has become a lie
Like the sky, demanding a storm
But there’s no clouds
Only blankness in sight
I have become deaf to that ones I love
I can’t hear them but they can’t hear me
I think that’s why I like to write so much
Cuz then I no longer have to speak
I no longer feel that need to be understood
Cuz people will read me like I read poetry
People will never need me like I need poetry
Even in the dark I know exactly what I’m trying to say
Sometimes poets are just born from rain
And these newspapers contain nothing new
For I have already been the last to know
And just realise a flashlight is no substitute for your warmth
And my poetry is no substitute for my words
An umbrella is going to be needed either way

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